


Attention & Attraction

by cruelest_month



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Gen, Humor, Loki on the Avengers, M/M, Pre-Slash, Reality TV, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-02
Updated: 2012-09-02
Packaged: 2017-11-13 04:18:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/499398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cruelest_month/pseuds/cruelest_month
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers are forced to participate in a reality TV show in an effort to garner some positive attention. Steve is happy to spend whatever time he can with Loki (now reformed, and officially an Avenger,) and possibly moving their relationship forward. The rest of the team, with the exception of an eager Thor and amused Tony, are reluctant to play along or participate in potentially embarrassing yet mandatory tasks.</p><p>Who will be voted off and who will be the Top Avenger?</p><p>(Now with updated art links)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Attention & Attraction

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written for the [Avengers Reverse Big Bang](http://avengers-rbb.livejournal.com). It is based on [this lovely piece of artwork](http://alekinexelsis.deviantart.com/art/MCU-Big-Brother-324528992) by [baboo_et_blade](http://baboo_et_blade.livejournal.com/). [baboo_et_blade](http://baboo_et_blade.livejournal.com/) also did the [awesome fic cover](http://alekinexelsis.deviantart.com/#/d5d7tbq) featured below.

Consulting any of his teammates was always a risky gamble. Steve had learned the hard way not to bounce ideas off of Tony, Bruce, or Natasha. The rest… Well, it depended on what you needed. Which was why he’d given up on the other Avengers and went to see Coulson.

Coulson considered the information he was being presented with before rubbing his temples and muttering something about his pay grade. “Are you the only one meeting him there?”

“Yes.”

“Then it’s a date.”

“I see.”

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Phil offered up a placid shrug. “Most of my thoughts don’t involve Loki, but for what it’s worth… His reform seems genuine.”

“Your opinion then,” Steve prompted.

Phil cleared his throat. “That’s very… um… kind of you to ask, but your opinion is the one you need to focus on. Not mine. Not your team’s. Besides, any grudge I would hold has been negated by the simple fact that I’m alive.”

“So you won’t think less of me.”

“I’m not sure that would be possible.”

Steve smiled. That was something at least.

Loki was waiting for him in front of the museum looking bored and smug. Underneath it all was a brief flicker of relief that Steve had only recently learned how to pin point.

“I’m late. Sorry.”

“You are and you needn’t apologize,” the Asgardian said with a smile. “At any rate, you’re here now.”

As he followed Loki through all five rooms of the André Mertens Galleries for Musical Instruments, Steve kept trying to think back to any notions he had about what dates entailed. He remembered Bucky’s retellings of his outings with a wide variety of girls, but none of that had ever seemed worth emulating. All the same, Steve figured this was a date and he hoped Loki thought it was too.

Loki was stroking his fingers over a glass case surrounding a gleaming, golden pianoforte. He eyed the placard and said something about Louis XI and Chopin and Liszt.

Steve nodded his head absently.

“Tony ought to get me one,” Loki said. “Don’t you think? I’m glad Tony keeps a Blüthner, but a pianoforte would suit my needs. Can you imagine playing something so lovely?”

“Sure.”

“I’m sure it would look lovely in my bedroom where I’ve been hoping we’ll spend some time in the near future. In fact, I’ve been practicing several pieces in the hopes of impressing you.”

“If you want… Wait.”

Loki laughed. “Steven, if this is boring you, we could go home.”

“I’m just thinking.”

“You think too much.”

“More than likely.”

Loki smiled and the expression was somewhat sad. “I wish you were thinking something along the lines of what I wish you were.”

Steve laughed. “Who’s to say I’m not? Why? What do you think I’m thinking about?”

“Oh, whether or not I’m sincere. Whether or not we should spend time together. So much energy going to waste,” Loki said with a shake of his head. “You can’t anticipate the actions of another, darling. You can, however, influence them.”

“I’d like to think I have.”

“You have. I think you’re actually the best influence I’ve ever had, and I appreciate it more than you know.”

Steve rubbed the back of his neck. “That’s…  That’s really nice actually, but that’s not what I’ve been thinking about.”

Loki raised an eyebrow. “What were you thinking about?”

Just when he was finally putting his thoughts in order, both of their cell phones rang.

-

Coulson presented the decision to have the Avengers enhance their popularity through Reality TV appearances with a pained look in his eyes. Fury stood near him with his arms crossed, giving about as much away in terms of his feelings or thoughts as a statue in Central Park.

“I’m not sure I completely follow you,” Thor said with a look of extreme consternation. “Are not these shows which appear upon yon box full of bickering and heinous behavior? I should think that the heroes of this world must rise above such petty squabbles and reveal only the better parts of themselves to impressionable plebeians.”

“There is some truth in that,” Loki said. “However, I can’t say I agree with you.”

“Shock of the century,” Tony muttered.

Out the corner of his eye, Steve watched Clint roll his eyes and Natasha yawn. A few months ago, Clint would have glared daggers at Loki and Natasha would have contemplated using her daggers on him. But now they’d all settled in a sort of truce and Loki’s contrary nature was par for the course. Steve suspected Natasha and Bruce held more of a grudge than anyone else, but then once Clint had gotten Coulson back and Loki had very solemnly vowed that there would be no taking back of what had been taken from the realm of Hel, Clint had been willing to let most things go.

“Midgardians seem to worship their television sets,” Loki continued. “So you see, brother. There can be no better way to instill respect and reverence in them than by participating in the traditions that hold such sway over the feeble-minded.”

“You’re not wrong, but you also can’t say feeble-minded on television,” Coulson pointed out.

Loki sighed. “Fine. Then I shall say the general viewing public if it pleases you.”

Coulson crossed his arms. “It’s a start.”

Clint sighed. “Can’t we just… I don’t know. Appear on shows or something?”

Coulson looked over at Clint. “We’ve explored that option and it won’t work.”

“Why? I mean, I’m more than willing to take one for the team and go on Top Shot.”

“You’d get voted off on day one,” Tony said. “And we’re not sending you there. They’re all assholes on that show.”

“What about… Um. _America’s Got Talent_? Or Steve could go on the _Bachelor_.”

Steve made a face. “I’m never going to be that hard up.”

Loki and Thor both had questioning looks although their expressions were quite different. Thor was simply perplexed while Loki just arched a brow, looking curious in an off-handed sort of way.

“I can explain later,” Steve told them.

Coulson cleared his throat. “There is also no scenario where letting one or two of you appear on a show would do much for putting a positive spin on Public Relations.”

“Meaning?” Clint asked.

“Meaning having all of you together on a show will provide enough footage for several episodes without as much negative sentiment and speculative gossip.”

“This is the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard of,” Bruce said.

“No one’s asking you to like it or do it. These are your orders,” Fury said, which was just as well since Coulson seemed seconds away from agreeing wholeheartedly with the Doctor. “You’ll do it and like it. And maybe next time you’re sent to save a city, you’ll leave a few more buildings intact or at least upright.”

“In my brother’s defense,” Loki said, “He was being stung by a school of jellyfish-humanoid hybrids at the time.”

“The day was saved by my actions,” Thor added. “Justice prevailed. Namor is our friend and ally once more.”

“Thank you for the sitrep breakdown, Tweedles Dee and Dum,” Fury said. “But that doesn’t change the fact that you guys can’t make friends with anyone outside of the elderly, the juvenile, and the temporarily insane. If you could, we wouldn’t have to try this heap of bullshit in order to appeal to a wider fan base.”

“I’m sure we do,” Tony said. “I mean, we’re all hot and I’m rich. All of our clothes are skin-tight, and Clint doesn’t wear sleeves. What’s not to like?”

“Plenty,” Fury replied. Then he marched out of the room.

“Take a few hours to review the files and videos,” Coulson said before looking at his watch. “We’ll reconvene at 1600.”

-

After the meeting, everyone went their separate ways. Steve went to the Avengers Tower communal kitchen to make a sandwich before getting to work.

Loki wandered in. He took a seat at the large marble island and across from Steve. Then he rubbed at a temple with several pale fingers after setting his paperwork down. “I grow weary of these tedious references to popular trivialities.”

“Pop Culture,” Tony helpfully supplied. He walked past them to the fridge for a six-pack of beer. “This is for me and Thor. Not just me.”

Loki gave him an irritated look. Tony decided to work on his homework elsewhere.

“I can explain them,” Steve said, relieved that this was the case. Sometimes he had to leave it up to one of the other Avengers, and they tended to come up with pretty creative lies.

Loki offered up an amused smirk. “That is sweet of you, Steven, but if you could do so at a later point in time, I would be most grateful. Now.” He tapped the file folders he’d set down on the marble island. “What on Earth is _Big Brother_?”

Steve frowned. “I actually… I don’t think I know.”

When Clint wandered in to snag some Mountain Dew, Loki repeated his question.

“Phil explained this to me awhile back,” Clint said. “It has to do with some book everyone reads in high school. There’s like this weird society where the government controls everything you do and monitors your behavior through cameras that spy on everything. And it’s like Big Brother is watching you. And it’s spooky.”

“Why have a reality show named for the dystopian dysfunctional breakdown of humanity’s trust in one another?”

Clint shrugged. “Something to do, I guess?”

“I suppose your explanation will suffice,” Loki said with an imperious hand wave. “You’re dismissed.”

“You’re annoying,” Clint said, but he left anyway.

Steve bit into his sandwich and considered the files he’d been given. The electronic ones would end up in some inbox that didn’t actually exist where it could collect computer dust for a few days until he could bring himself to ask for Tony’s help with his password. Without any assistance, Steve kept getting locked out of his account and then breaking keyboards all in an effort to win a virtual war against the host for his e-mail. Yahoo, he felt, had been aptly named.

Just thinking about his e-mail gave him a headache so he set the papers aside and looked over at Loki. “So about earlier? Before my phone rang, I wanted to thank you for saying what you did. For letting me matter to you.”

“You’re very welcome.”

“I want you to know that it’s not just a one-way street or anything.”

Loki raised an eyebrow.

“I mean… You matter to me too.”

“Good,” Loki said gently. “I would like for us to matter to each other.” He glanced down at the file in front of him. “Will you agree to these terms?”

“I guess,” Steve said. “Participating in this particular SHIELD experiment doesn’t exactly seem optional even if it does seem absolutely pointless.”

“Hm.”

“What about you?”

 “I, dear Captain, am quite tempted to say no, and yet… I find I am curious to see what will happen with the challenges and voting.”

Steve remembered the first fight he’d had with Tony and Thor and how very happy Loki had been to watch them squabble. “Why witness the train wreck from a distance when you can get a front row seat?”

“It’s in my nature, Steven, and I’m within my rights,” Loki said. He offered up a smile that boarded on apologetic. “There is no actual train to cause any tangible damage.”

“Dunno,” Steve admitted. “I’ve heard things about these reality shows and the way people behave…”

Loki raised an eyebrow. He leaned forward, elbows pressing against paper and marble. “It might be the best thing for you, Steven. You could stand to lose an inhibition or two. Or twenty, truth be told.”

Steve colored slightly before shrugging it off and leaning forward. “And just who would I be losing these inhibitions with?”

“I will selflessly elect to aid you.”

“Selfless, my eye.”

“Your eye is of little interest to me.”

This was, of course, when Thor decided to enter the room which ground everything to a halt. Loki gritted his teeth and Steve contemplated the pros and cons of continuing as if Thor hadn’t just marched on into the room like one of Snow White’s cheerful dwarves.

One thing Steve didn’t want to do was react poorly and he wasn’t about to recoil from Loki. Especially not Loki. But he was a bit stymied since he had no idea if Thor approved, disapproved, or would end up misinterpreting everything only to arrange an Asgardian shotgun marriage five minutes later.

Loki smirked, petting Steve’s cheek and rising from the stool he’d been perched on. “The rest of you, however, is of considerable interest. I’ll do something about that later.”

“I could leave,” Thor said. He had the good sense to look sheepish at least.

Loki rolled his eyes heavenward before giving his brother a baleful look. “Would that you had not entered.”

“I am quite sorry,” Thor said.

“Quite,” Loki coolly observed. “However, the moment is dead. Yet another innocent victim of your horrifically flawed sense of timing.”

Thor watched his brother leave before rubbing at the back of his neck. Then he grinned awkwardly at Steve.

“What did you want anyway?” Steve asked.

Thor opened his mouth then closed it again. “I am afraid I’ve forgotten.”

“Well, if I were you? I’d find something to take with me and pretend it was what I was looking for,” Steve advised.

“Because of Loki?”

“That would be one reason,” Steve said. Then, sensing that the next thing Thor would bring up was bound to involve Loki and intentions, he grabbed his sandwich and papers and left.

-

“Obviously the official rules of the show will be changed,” Coulson said when they were all assembled. “The strict isolation typically associated with Big Brother is really not an option for superheroes. Similarly, any missions, assignments, or battles that occur will not be filmed. No one will have to leave the tower, but they will not be involved in the show once they’ve been eliminated.”

“What exactly do we win?” Tony asked.

“You win 500,000 dollars for a charity of your choice and you’ll be the most popular Avenger.”

“I like being popular,” Tony mused.

“You _would like_ to be popular,” Clint corrected. “I’m pretty sure I’m winning.”

“Only because of the gun show.”

“Actually,” Coulson said, “a recent survey found that the most popular Avenger is Thor followed closely by Loki.”

Tony frowned. “The hell?”

“Thor has been well-received by middle-aged women, and Loki is very well-liked by teenage girls.”

Loki looked affronted. Thor looked pleased.

 “Well… Who am I popular with?” Tony asked.

Coulson examined the papers in front of him before looking over at Tony. “Dog walkers and middle-aged men with Tourette’s syndrome.”

Steve couldn’t tell if Coulson was being serious or not, but he helpfully explained what Tourette’s was to Loki. And smiled when Loki laughed cheerfully.

“Ah, Agent Coulson,” Loki said with a smirk, “I think you might prove to be the most popular in the end.”

“He better not,” Clint muttered. “I’m not sharing.”

Bruce sighed loudly. “How long is this stupid show going to take exactly?”

Coulson shrugged. “There are seven of you, but I suspect I’ll be forced to join the three ring circus so hopefully not very long.”

Natasha frowned. “Why would they require you to participate?”

“Because they want someone from SHIELD, and I play well with others. I’m hoping I’ll get voted off first, but I’m sure I’ll be there for the long haul.”

“Bastards,” Natasha muttered.

 Thor patted Coulson’s shoulder.

After the meeting, Thor snagged Steve’s elbow and steered him to the side of a hallway. “I would like to know what your intentions are in regards to my brother.”

“We’re friends.”

Thor crossed his arms.

“Friends for now,” Steve amended. “I think we’ll… um… I think we plan on being more to one another, but the details of that… Well. I don’t feel inclined to go into them with you. No offense.”

“None is taken. It is only that… Loki will deny it to the end of his days, but Loki is sensitive. _Very_ sensitive,” Thor replied.

Considering everything that had happened in the past, Steve thought that was one hell of an understatement, but decided not to say so.

“You are a dear friend to me, a true shield brother, and one of the best men I know,” Thor continued. “Therefore I know that what I am about to say is entirely unnecessary and yet… I must tell you that, should you hurt Loki in any way, I shall have no choice but to take it very personally.”

Hurting Loki didn’t seem like an easy task, but Steve knew there was more than one kind of hurt. He also knew that physical injuries were rarely as bad as less tangible ones. “I would expect you to.”

Thor nodded. “It is only that he cares for you and he has so little that he can claim as his own. I cannot bear for him to lose anything else let alone your kind regard.”

Steve clasped Thor’s arm. “I understand, and he won’t. I take my commitments very seriously.”

-

The first day of filming began once they were told that the show would have two names. In other countries, the show would be called _Celebrity Big Brother: Avengers Edition_. In the States, it would just be called _Top Avenger_.

It was a slow day of introductions, promo shots, and also the opening of the show which consisted of them posing awkwardly, saying corny catchphrases, and doing preliminary Diary entries in the insanely glitzed out room that had been set up in what had once been Coulson’s tower office. The voice overs and editing would take place later with the input of SHIELD’s PR department.

Coulson was pretty irritated about his office getting transformed into a gaudy, gleaming mess. No one involved with the production seemed to pick up on the fact that he was seething, but then it was hard to tell unless you’d worked with him for a long time. The agent did a really good job of looking placid and accommodating while secretly plotting something dangerous and potentially deadly.

Natasha and Clint stood on either side of him looking equal parts imposing and bored. Needless to say, Coulson wasn’t given much to do.

 “Well, Phil, I think it’s great that you’re so comfortable being so fabulous,” Tony had said when he was done confessing something trivial to a camera crew. “I always figured your office would look like the set of _RuPaul’s Drag Race_.”

Coulson stoically walked into the Diary Room with Clint following close behind him.

“Phil’s my buddy even if he’s incredibly dull,” Tony told a camera. “He’s not good with emotions either, but he likes me deep down.”

Loki smirked. “Deep down at the bottom of Mimir’s Well, I should think.”

Thor laughed, and for once the look Loki gave him was affectionate and fond.

Steve hadn’t been able to come up with anything so he just talked about how much he enjoyed his team and the dynamic they had. And that he hoped that those who voted would take their responsibility seriously but not as seriously as their actual right to vote for political leaders. He was pretty sure the lecture he’d given wasn’t going to make it onto the show, but they’d told him to be himself.

Fury was apparently acting as the show’s host and he seemed oddly okay with the job of handing down ridiculous tasks. Their first night’s challenge would have no bearing on who would end up getting nominated for elimination, but it was designed to give their faceless audience a better sense of who they are.

“Tonight’s task is all about theme songs. Each of you will come with a theme song based on an existing melody for one of your teammates. I suggest you take the assignment seriously.”

They were each handed an index card with the name of another team mate written out in block letters on the back.

Steve ended up with Tony, Natasha got Bruce, Bruce wound up with Loki, Tony ended up with Coulson, Loki got Steve, Thor wound up with Loki, Coulson ended up with Clint, and Clint got Natasha. Then they went to different parts of the tower to come up with songs.

Thor’s song for Loki was in Icelandic and based on a Sigur Ros song no one else had listened to. He was a very expressive performer, but Thor had a hard time getting through it since the lyrics struck a raw nerve. Loki seemed uncertain of what to do but eventually he gave Thor a hug, discreetly wiping at one eye when the camera took in the reaction of the other Avengers.

Clint’s theme song for Natasha was to the tune of Billy Joel’s “She’s Always a Woman to Me.” At first, Natasha seemed impressed by her friend’s effort as well as his singing voice, but her enthusiasm declined once Clint added in an air guitar solo complete with inflatable guitar.

Tony’s song for Coulson was to the tune of Carly Simon’s “Nobody Does It Better,” but Steve had a feeling none of it could be played on the air since most of it was juvenile, scandalous, or just plain untrue. Tony also did a lot of random gestures complete with gun-related sound effects while a laser light show played in the background. In short, he made an ass of himself as per usual.

Loki’s song for Steve was to the tune of a ballad no one had heard of and it was overly flattering in a way that was just sort of embarrassing. It also lasted for roughly twenty minutes and involved several instruments including something vaguely like a mandolin.

Coulson, Bruce, and Natasha all refused to sing theirs, but held their notepads briefly up the camera in an effort to show that they had participated in the assignment.

Steve figured he might as well do his theme song for Tony, which was to the tune of “You’re a Grand Old Flag”:

_Tony is Iron Man_

_He drinks whenever he can_

_And it makes his team quite concerned_

_It is a bad plan_

_For Iron Man_

_A lesson you’d think he had learned_

_And I have to mention_

_He needs an intervention_

_And to possibly go to rehab_

_So when you’re voting on this show_

_Please vote for Iron Man_

It was an instant hit, even with Tony.

“You are truly a marvel, Steven,” Loki said once he could stop laughing.

“I’d be hurt if it wasn’t so true,” Tony said, looking amused as he clapped. “Well played, Rogers. Well played.”

-

Until the show was over or they were voted off, the Avengers had to sleep in one room. This ended up being the spacious den overlooking the balcony. Loki didn’t seem pleased to be back in it, but then the last time he’d been in the room, he’d ended up getting pummeled into the floor by the Hulk. He also didn’t seem very thrilled about the heated floor or the fireplace.

“There’s a mini-fridge,” Tony suggested. “You can stick your head in it when you get too warm.”

Loki just elbowed roughly past Tony. Loki didn’t say anything. He just he set his sleeping bag down on the mattress next to Thor’s and close to the one that Steve had already selected. Thor, Clint, and Coulson were sitting over by the bar, ignoring everyone else.

Steve gave Tony a stern look. “I’d sleep in a snow bank before I went out of my way to make my teammates uncomfortable.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Yeah well of course you would. You’d walk uphill both ways and yadda yadda. You’re just the world’s most special snowflake.”

“All I’m saying is that we’re a team and you can’t put your comfort above someone else’s—”

“It’s called a joke, sourpuss. And he can’t use the ice bucket. I need that for the drinking problem you so charmingly wrote an ode to.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t pick on you if you weren’t so busy picking on everyone else all the damn time.”

“For crying out loud,” Tony groused. “Okay. Who has two thumbs and no sense of humor? Here’s a hint: It’s you.”

Natasha sighed. “Again with this?”

“Enough,” Bruce said in a gentle but warning tone. “You two know better. Don’t you, Steve?”

Steve grimaced, but he nodded. “Fine. I apologize. Several of my remarks were out of line, and the song I came up with was… somewhat insulting.”

“Hilarious but insulting,” Tony added.

Bruce sighed. “Don’t you have something to say, Tony?”

Tony made a face. “No because I was _joking_. I mean, come on. I don’t think Rudolph’s face would even fit in the mini-fridge.”

Steve eyed Tony severely before stalking away.

Behind him, Bruce said: “Right. Well. We’ll leave the floor alone. And the fireplace too. I don’t like being warm when I sleep anyway.”

Steve wandered over to Loki. “You okay?”

“I am perfectly fine, Steven. I have put up with warmer chambers than these and…” Loki sighed. “As for the rest, I have grown accustomed to japes and name-calling.”

Steve frowned.

“Oh, not from Tony,” Loki said, waving a hand. “He is not cruel so much as he is stupid. And never from Thor. He is many things but he is a good brother.”

“Then…”

 “I’ve told you about Thor’s friends and their oh so clever observations,” Loki replied, shrugging his shoulders. “I do not care to repeat them, but I much prefer being thought of as a misfit reindeer. You needn’t leap to my defense.”

“I don’t mind.”

Loki gave Steve a speculative and uncertain look.

“I really don’t.”

And since the look Loki was giving him was getting on his nerves, Steve leaned in and kissed him.

Loki returned it before pulling back sooner than Steve might have liked. When he moved back in, Loki gently put a hand over Steve’s lips. “I appreciate the display of affection and should like to receive more of it but… There are cameras, and I imagine you would prefer to have more of me in a more private setting.”

“Oh. Right.” Steve frowned. “I’d forgotten about them. I probably should have been nicer to Tony…”

Loki smiled. “I doubt much of that will be worth airing, and I have a feeling it will only make Tony look bad.” He eyed a camera on the wall and waved to it. Then he leaned against Steve to murmur in his ear: “In light of what I’ve shared, I suspect my adoring teenaged minions will have the opportunity to vote for him in the near future.”

“Isn’t that sort of mean and sneaky?”

“Yes,” Loki said sounding pleased. “I suppose it is.”

And Steve found himself wishing the Asgardian’s smirk didn’t do so much for him.

-

The next day, they had a mission and when they returned to the tower, they were called into the living room. Instead of debriefing, they were given the task of naming all the elements on the periodic table while being constantly interrupted by Fury shouting things at them to derail their train of thought.

Before they could even begin, Clint bowed out. And Thor and Loki joined him on the couch.

“I didn’t finish high school,” Clint explained to the camera aimed at him. “So I’ll just be over here feeling dumb.”

“You aren’t dumb,” Thor insisted, giving the camera a dark look as if it was directly responsible for the task. “I do not even know what a periodic table is.”

“I don’t either,” Loki added, “and I too feel as if I have been entirely set up for failure. I am a sorceror. Why would I care about _any_ element outside of fire, earth, air, spirit, and water?

Steve was out fairly quickly. Natasha held her own for a long time, but clearly hadn’t memorized the whole table and had to quit. Coulson, Bruce, and Tony stuck to it for a long time, but in the end Tony won.

“So now what?” Tony asked.

Fury’s eye twitched. “As much as it pains me to say it, you’re in charge. Temporarily.”

Tony grinned. “Well, all right then. What’s that entail?”

“Handing out tasks for the next few days.”

“Awesome,” Tony said.

Most of them were harmless if irritating. For example, Clint had to serenade Coulson with 80s One Hit Wonders whenever he saw him. Bruce had to walk like an Egyptian whenever Tony told him to. Thor and Natasha had to talk like pirates at all times. Steve and Loki had to sleep together in a cardboard box. And Coulson had to build a statue of Iron Man out of papier-mâché.

Clint had way too much fun with his assignment to the point where Coulson was going out of his way to avoid him. Or, more likely, to avoid turning red since apparently being crooned to was embarrassing. Tony explained what rickrolling was, but Steve still thought it was sweet that Clint didn’t want to give Coulson up, let him down, desert him, tell a lie, make him cry, or hurt him.

Bruce tried his best, but clearly had no idea how to walk like an Egyptian.

Natasha refrained from speaking and Thor had no problems adjusting. Or calling Tony a scurvy landlubber or a rotten son of a sea biscuit whenever possible.

Coulson’s papier-mâché model was pretty much a work of art that Tony in no way deserved, but had immediately sent to Pepper for safekeeping.

Steve and Loki’s cardboard box was spacious and had originally housed one of the many ridiculously oversized televisions Tony kept stockpiling in the basement. (Thor had a tendency to throw his Wii-mote threw them when he lost dancing games.)

They moved it out the balcony since it was a pretty balmy night. Then they piled their sleeping bags on top of one another before bunking down.

“Maybe we should pick up where we left off the other night,” Loki suggested after a companionable silence lasted for a little too long.

“It couldn’t hurt,” Steve said, feeling sort of relieved when they kissed. He felt even better when Loki seemed satisfied with wrapping a leg around Steve’s and petting his hair. Steve wasn’t sure how much fooling around he wanted to do with cameras rolling. Originally he’d thought about taking them out with his shield, but none of their locations were obvious and all of the cameras were tiny.

“Did you ever play house as a kid?” he asked after awhile.

“Play house?” Loki asked.

“You know. It’s where you pretend you’re grown up and married. Then you use something like this as your pretend house.”

“I would want something much nicer than this. Even for a pretend house,” Loki mused. “That said, I can’t imagine imagining myself in a pretend house of any kind. I would rather live in a pretend castle.”

Steve chuckled. “Well, I’m pretty sure you can live anywhere you wanted to when you’re pretending.”

Loki smiled, petting Steve’s cheek. “Don’t keep me in suspense. What did you pretend when you played house with your friends?”

“I usually played alone so… I’d pretend to be… I don’t know. More interesting than I was or figured I could ever hope to be. Like a knight or a soldier or a ship captain.”

“I’m sure you were worthy of interest even then.”

“I doubt it. I was mostly short and awkward. And always trying too hard.”

“People are very judgmental and that is often difficult to contend with, but the worst thing you can do is judge yourself.”

“Everyone does it. You can’t avoid it even if you want to. You just have to learn to rise above it.”

“Yes,” Loki said quietly. “We all do. That said I am sure your character would have shone through regardless of your physical appearance. Clearly I approve of what the serum did to you, but… Steven, what is appealing about you is that you are a startlingly kind and genuine human being. Which is to say that you simply _reek_ of goodness.”

Steve laughed. “Is that so?”

Loki leaned in, nuzzling at Steve’s neck before smirking. “Yes. Even a year ago, I would have insisted that such qualities in a man or woman could never appeal to me, but… Now I understand that becoming evil to prove people right in assuming I was evil all along is fairly misguided. Not to mention tedious.”

“Even now you’re still you.”

“There is that, but then… I’m not sure I would know how to be anyone else.”

“It’s one of the many things I like about you,” Steve insisted.

They didn’t do much besides kiss, but they went to sleep wrapped around each other.

-

There were plenty of similarly bizarre tasks from Tony during the course of the rest of the week.

On day two, Steve had to call twenty people at random to see if they had Prince Albert in a can. No one had, but Steve didn’t mind since he spent most of his evening in a cardboard box with Loki.

On day three, Clint, Thor, and Natasha had to act out all of Disney’s _Aladdin_. Natasha wasn’t a great sport about it though, and in the end Clint and Thor had to sing “A Whole New World” with each other. They seemed pretty pleased with themselves for remembering all the lyrics, and occasionally took breaks to high five each other. Neither one of them spoke to Natasha for the rest of the day.

On day four, Coulson and Loki had been told to disarm a glitter bomb with a paper clip and a hockey ticket, which hadn’t worked out since they were given three seconds to do so. After being attacked by rainbow glitter, Loki used a simple incantation to get most of it off of himself and the SHIELD agent. Once Tony and the cameras were busy elsewhere, Coulson showed Loki how they could have disabled the bomb using only the hockey ticket if they’d been given at least twenty seconds.

On day five, Bruce had to dress up like a doctor and diagnose them with diseases that they had to pretend to have for the following twenty four hours. Even then Bruce still seemed unwilling to enter into the spirit of the show, and very eager to be free of it.

On Sunday, Tony announced they’d be having a fondue party in the evening.

Steve made a beeline for Fury. “I don’t think they can make us do that,” he said. “Even if they can, I refuse.”

Fury had given him a look. “You can’t possibly be allergic to dairy if you’re a super soldier.”

“What does that have to do with fondue?”

Fury continued to give him a look. “Son, do you know what fondue is?”

“A fancy French word for… orgy,” Steve said in a hushed tone.

“More like a fancy French word for eating melted cheese and bread off a teeny-tiny fork. Can you handle that without having a stroke, _Captain_ Rogers?”

“I can try,” Steve said sheepishly before heading back into the living room.

Fondue ended up being delicious although Steve could have done without Loki eating strawberries and chocolate with a seductive smirk in his general direction. Throughout it all, Coulson was still trying to get bits of glitter out of his hair while Loki seemed perfectly happy to continue to faintly shimmer.

After that, Tony announced that Bruce, Coulson, and Loki were up for nomination due to failing more of their tasks than anyone else.

Much to his relief, Bruce got voted off first. Only Tony didn’t seem to be slightly envious of him, but then Bruce got to linger around behind the scenes when he wanted to _and_ he also got to do other things elsewhere. Tony was, however, really sad about relinquishing his power and seeing Bruce go even if it wasn’t particularly far away.

At the start of the second week and before tasks, Fury and one frantic producer told them to spend more time in the Diary Room and to be entertaining. Or else.

Steve sank into the over-sized throne in Coulson’s former office, and tried to think of something interesting to say. All that came to mind were old films he’d watched with Bucky, and how cheap it used to be to go to the movie theater. As he shared his stories, the camera crew spent a lot of time on their cellphones texting people.

He was about to launch into a lecture about the rudeness of modern people and how technology was the root of all evil when Loki wandered in. He was wearing a white wife beater and a pair of green shorts and no shoes, which seemed very casual even for the Asgardian.

“Hello. I figured I’d help you be entertaining,” he said before sitting on the throne and across Steve’s lap.

“I’m pretty boring,” Steve admitted with a sigh. “And dull.” He was aware that he was turning red, but he didn’t really mind Loki’s lack of interest in personal space.

“Nonsense. What were you saying before I came in?”

“That I remember when movies used to cost a nickel and you could stay all day and watch cartoons.”

“He’s very old,” Loki told the camera. “He means well though.”

“I do,” Steve agreed apologetically. “I sincerely do.”

“And he’s taken, I’m afraid.”

Steve smiled. “I suppose I am.”

Loki smiled back, petting Steve’s cheek. “But more evidence of that won’t wind up on film. Steve’s also a bit old fashioned.”

“Takes two people to move slowly.”

“Perhaps. Now. Why don’t you tell them about your art instead of the time when you were poor and thought a nickel was incredibly valuable?”

“I wasn’t poor, and I don’t have my—”

Loki snapped his fingers, conjuring up Steve’s current sketchbook.

“Ah.” Steve glanced at the camera; aware that Loki’s foot was brushing over his thigh, but doing his best to ignore it. “Well, when I was younger, I really liked to draw. I mean, I still do but… Back then it was because I was sort of scrawny so I would draw the things I wished I was or I wished were around me.”

He found a picture of a landscape that wasn’t related to the war, and held it up to the camera. “Or I draw the places I would have liked to be instead. And I know a lot has changed, but one thing remains the same. Growing up is difficult, but eventually things get easier. Eventually those idiots that give you a hard time go away or they cease to matter. Either way, you have to ride it out whether you get offered super soldier serum or not.”

-

On the second day of the second week, Fury announced that they had a Master and Servant task that Natasha was randomly elected to judge. They would be split up into teams. For six hours, one of them would be a Servant and the other the Master. After six hours, the roles would reverse. And then Natasha would pick the best Servant.

Steve selected Loki, Clint immediately picked Coulson, and Thor was left with Tony.

“You can make my bed and then we can rotate the mattress,” Clint said to Coulson. Then they disappeared to another part of the house.

“The cameras will be rolling,” Tony called after them.

“Super spies,” Clint shouted back.

Steve couldn’t think of anything to give Loki to do so, in the end, he decided to draw him. Loki did his best to keep still, but he definitely seemed a bit bored and more than willing to make Steve some iced tea after an hour or so. Then Steve stretched out on the couch, resting his head on Loki’s lap while Loki read aloud to him from where he’d left off in _The Hobbit_.

Somewhere else in the tower, Tony was making Thor clean out the basement and then several garages’ worth of junk. Then Thor had to wash all of Tony’s cars while shirtless.

After six hours, Loki had Steve repaint his bedroom a dark hunter green with some silver stenciling. He’d been meaning to have it done for a while, and he couldn’t use the room anyway while he was participating in Top Avenger.

“You are so good with your hands,” Loki all but purred as he inspected Steve’s work.

Steve colored a bit.

“Happily, I can think of more for them to do. In fact, I insist that you prepare a bath for me.” Loki led them down to the camera-less master bathroom located on the floor below and gestured for Steve to follow him into it.

The tub was more like a pool than anything else so they ended up taking a bath together. Steve washed Loki’s hair and then his back, kissing at the Asgardian’s neck.

“After we’re done with this show, I think we should make better use of either your bed or mine,” Steve suggested. “The paint smell will be gone by then too.”

“I like the way you think, slave.”

“Servant.”

“There is no real difference,” Loki teased before turning around to give Steve a kiss on the lips.

Steve stepped out first and toweled off before attending to Loki who seemed quite content to make Steve do everything.

After drying off, Loki slipped on a robe and Steve had to give Loki a massage. Then he had to brush out Loki’s hair and paint his fingernails black. It was, truth be told, no real hardship.

The producers weren’t sure how much rotating a mattress could possibly need, but so far there had been no updates on what Coulson and Clint were doing. Steve figured they were all better off not knowing.

Thor had decided to make Tony write “Thou shalt not command the Mighty Thor to do thine tedious chores” a thousand times. Tony had decided to have his robots do it instead.

Natasha decided that Steve and Thor were by far the best servants. Their reward was being exempt from elimination at the end of the week.

Situations of actual importance relating to being superheroes came up in and outside of the city so they didn’t end up with any other tasks that week. They ate meals at the tower and together whenever possible so there would be enough footage. Bruce was allowed to join them if he didn’t mind being edited out later, which he didn’t. He seemed amused by all of their antics, and relieved to be left out of them.

At the end of the week, Thor and Steve got to nominate three people for elimination. They went with Natasha, Coulson, and Tony.

They had toyed around with the idea of Clint instead of Natasha, but Thor just didn’t seem capable of nominating Clint. Not when Natasha had left Thor with no other choice but to act out the part of Princess Jasmine less than a week ago.

Tony seemed surprised when he was voted off by whoever was actually voting and decidedly miffed about it. Coulson offered to leave in his stead, but the producers said they wanted him to stay on as a kind of everyman.

-

At the start of week three, Steve woke up to find Loki straddling his legs and kissing him.

“It’s still late at night,” Steve said, a little relieved when Loki covered them up with a comforter.

“Yes, it is,” Loki said, rolling off and joining him on the mattress.

“This isn’t for a task, right?”

Loki huffed. “Hardly.”

“Then… Is something wrong? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong, you ridiculous man. I simply miss you,” Loki explained quietly before curling up against him. “I preferred our box of cardboard to these sleeping arrangements, but rest assured that your virtue can remain intact if you like.”

Steve chuckled faintly. “Rumors of my virtue are greatly exaggerated, but seeing as your brother is sleeping right next to us… I think we should wait.”

Loki chuckled too. “Very well, but enough about my brother. Might I remain here with you?”

“Go ahead and remain,” Steve said with a smile. “I insist.”

In the morning, they both were told to report to the Diary Room to share what had happened.

Coulson was outside of the room still protesting the fact that it looked like a French bordello. Fury was next to him, leaning against the wall. He told them to tone whatever the hell happened down or else.

In the Diary Room, Steve sat on the throne, letting Loki drape himself over his lap again.

“Last night nothing happened,” Steve insisted. “Honest.”

“Nothing?” Loki asked, looking hurt.

“Nothing bad,” Steve said. “Or untoward. It was all very nice and mostly appropriate.”

“Nothing happened that wasn’t consensual and marvelous,” Loki said with a smirk before examining his nails. “Steve is very good. Quite the _Top Avenger_ if you know what I mean.”

“Nothing happened,” Steve repeated. “And even if it did, it would private.”

That afternoon, their task was to play a song on a musical instrument. They could either use one that they already knew how to use or they could opt to learn a very simple song on a recorder or tin whistle.

Tony and Bruce were brought back as guest judges.

“Does air guitar count?” Clint asked.

Tony and Bruce took a minute to talk it over before reluctantly deciding that it didn’t.

After several days of practicing, Clint played “Chopsticks” on the Blüthner piano in the living room, Natasha played “Claire de Lune” on the recorder, Steve tried very hard to play “Old Joe Clark” on the recorder, and Thor managed a few notes on a tin whistle before breaking it in two.

They were horribly upstaged when Coulson played a fast Irish jig called “The Old Grey Goose” on a tin whistle. Then Loki played “La Campanella” by Liszt on the piano.

“I don’t know,” Bruce said when they were done. “Both of those songs were really well done. You both deserve to win.”

“I’d be willing to consider it a tie,” Tony said, “if Coulson plays ‘My Heart Will Go On.’”

“I don’t know if I would.”

“You would, Bruce. You totally would.”

Coulson sighed, but Clint made an encouraging gesture, and eventually he played some melancholy song on his tin whistle.

“All right. You both win.”

“I don’t understand. Is that song culturally significant in some way?” Loki asked Natasha.

“No, and it never will be.”

“I still don’t understand.”

“You don’t need to,” Coulson assured him. “Really.”

“I’ll explain later,” Clint said when Loki looked over at him. “Or, well, the next time we have three hours to kill.”

Coulson and Loki were gone for about an hour before they came back without any nominations. They left the decision up to their “special” guests, and in the end Tony and Bruce picked Thor, Natasha, and Steve since even Clint had done a marginally better job than they had.

Natasha seemed indifferent and Steve couldn’t decide how he felt, but Thor looked distraught.

“I don’t want to be unpopular,” he muttered. “I want to do well.”

Loki rubbed Thor’s shoulder soothingly, and then the producers decided that was a wrap for week three. The weekend would be spent doing some charity work, which meant they had a few days off from the constant surveillance.

“It matters not, Thor,” Loki said when the camera crew left. “This really has no bearing on anything.”

“But it would be good to win, would it not? It is important to garner favor with the people of this world.”

“You have the regard of your friends. That is more important.”

Thor sighed, but he nodded. “There is truth in what you say, but I do not like to lose.”

“Don’t look at it that way. I don’t think you’re going to be voted off.  Even if you were, you will still have done better than two other Avengers. That ought to count for something, don’t you think?”

Thor managed a smile then he gave Loki a hug before going off to brood. Clint and Natasha said they’d keep an eye on him.

-

At the start of week four, Natasha was voted off by a very narrow margin. She seemed pretty indifferent although she did give Thor a hug when he mumbled an apology.

She smiled and shrugged. “You want this way more than I do. I’m looking forward to having some time to myself.”

“I suppose it would be nice to win,” Loki mused as they waited for the next task. Or something important to do.

“You’re new though,” Clint pointed out. “You can’t be Top Avenger yet… Not that it’s really a title to aspire to.”

“I think Master Avenger would command more respect and reverence,” Thor chimed in.

Coulson shook his head, putting an arm around Clint’s shoulders as the archer laughed.

“No?”

“Not… really,” Clint said. “And please never say that again.”

Thor grinned. “I’m not sure the title of Master Avenger warrants such a giddy reaction, Friend Barton.”

“It really does.”

“The longer this goes on… I don’t know. Maybe I do want to win,” Steve confessed to Loki when the others started arguing about something.

“You probably will. You’re very likable.”

“So are you. Besides, kids like you and kids vote the most for these stupid things.”

Loki rolled his eyes, examining his nails. “Perhaps. These could use a touch-up later on.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

Their next task was to make eggs four different ways –poached, soft-boiled, benedict, and omelet-- and serve it to their judges, which, unsurprisingly, was everyone who had been eliminated so far.

Since they had an odd number again, they had to first compete in a memory game. They were shown a photograph for five seconds then asked a number of questions about it. Coulson did really well, but Clint did the best, which made him safe from elimination and one of the judges.

Loki was the first to use the kitchen, but he still wasn’t used to cooking his own meals . When he burnt his thumb on the edge of a frying pan, he refused to go near the stove again even though the mark healed quickly. Steve comforted him while Coulson cooked.

Coulson, of course, did a good job on all four eggs. He mostly ignored the camera, but he seemed relaxed when he was working. Everyone thought his presentation for each dish was really sophisticated.

When it was his turn, Steve managed to do three of them well, but he completely botched the soft-boiled egg.

Thor seemed strangely at ease in the kitchen, speaking to the camera and going over each step. Then he talked about stealing dragon eggs as a boy and how eggs always reminded him of home. It all sounded like a bunch of hooey, but the camera crew and the set director seemed to be really fascinated. One of them even teared up as Thor talked about his first time eating eggs benedict at a diner in New Mexico.

Steve continued brushing his fingers over Loki’s thumb. Not so much because Loki was still in need of comforting, but because it was sort of nice to have someone to hold hands with. Even after Tony suggested they go get a room. Or visit the drugstore and share a root beer float.

“Your brother’s laying it on a little thick there,” Steve said, aware of the camera zooming in on them.

“He always does,” Loki murmured. “In all fairness, the buffoon is hopefully addicted to Food Network.”

“I don’t think you’re supposed to use ‘buffoon’ and ‘fairness’ in the same sentence.”

Loki laughed. “I think you’ll find that I just did.”

Despite the fact that he’d turned his task into an overly sentimental cooking lesson, Thor made the best eggs and his hollandaise sauce reduced most of the judges to moans that made things slightly awkward. Clint was the only one who didn’t seem overly impressed, but then he was used to Thor’s cooking and obviously a loyal boyfriend.

As his reward, Thor got to pick one of them to cook all his meals for the rest of the day. Thor picked Coulson and requested some sort of snack every half an hour or so.

Dr. Doom and then Mandrill took over the rest of the week by causing all sorts of problems in Midtown and Hell’s Kitchen respectively. At the end of it, each of them had to go to the Diary Room and nominate one person. Coulson and Steve were the only two nominated.

-

It really wasn’t too surprising when Coulson was voted off. He seemed relieved and then amused when Natasha high-fived him.

“I guess it’s good,” Clint decided when they were back to waiting for a task. “This wasn’t his kind of thing anyway.”

“It’s hard competing with someone you like,” Steve said.

“Not if you don’t mind if they win,” Loki pointed out.

“Yeah, and Phil really didn’t care. It’s not like there was a good way for him to get off the show. Not when he was ordered to be here.”

Fury walked in. “Your next task is a Prison Challenge. Two of you will be prison guards and two of you will be prisoners. The guards will be in charge of the prisoners who will remain inside cells that have been built for you in the tower basement. Prisoners will be allowed one full hour of exercise. Whenever they are out of their cell, the prisoners will be shackled to the guard overseeing their stay.”

“You have got to be shitting me,” Clint growled out.

“Try that again and aim for something they won’t have to censor.”

“You’ve got to be _kidding_ me,” Clint said, crossing his arms.

“I don’t kid,” Fury said. “Oh. And prisoners are allowed two visitors a day. Otherwise they can’t speak unless spoken to.”

Steve and Clint ended up being selected as prisoners. Thor and Loki were guards, and since Loki was allowed to pick first, he chose Steve.

Steve allowed himself to be shackled, but Clint was a bit reluctant, which wasn’t too surprising.

“This isn’t a very difficult assignment,” Loki said, tugging Steve along. “Strange, however. Is there something about prison that is appealing?”

“Sadly there is.”

Loki made a face before smiling. “I see. Am I supposed to abuse my position of power and take advantage of you?”

“It’s more like a prison cliché than a reality.”

“I’d happily make it a reality for you.”

“Let’s… have this talk some other time. Privately.”

Loki sighed, looking amused. “Must everything be private, Steven?”

“Relationships ought to be. If you want to be with me, you have to know that I’m not going to want cameras on us all the time. And I’m not going to become a Twit for you. Or go on the Facebook.”

“I would never ask you to use Twitter. Or go on Facebook. Although that reminds me that I ought to update my status.”

It was mildly embarrassing that an ancient alien was more comfortable with technology than Steve was, but only mildly. It didn’t make Steve feel any more inclined to use his Stark Phone for anything outside of calls relating to the Avengers, music, or actual phone calls. He was still hoping Tony would get around to making him a pocket-sized rotary phone one of these days.

Steve did have to admit that the room he had as a prisoner was nicer than the den he was sharing with everyone else. He didn’t have any visitors right away, but he enjoyed stretching out a mattress and being alone for a change. Through the walls he could hear Clint complaining loudly to Natasha, and then laughing about something with Coulson.

Loki came back in after twenty minutes had passed. He set a tray with a sandwich, an apple, and a small can of root beer down on the nightstand. Then he fluffed up the pillows Steve wasn’t using and sat down on the end of Steve’s bed.

“I trust there will be no sudden movements else I will be forced to deprive you of your hour of exercise. And shackle you to me for the reminder of the day.”

Steve grinned, sitting up. “I will behave myself.”

Loki feigned exasperation. “I’m sure that you will, but I must point out that the fun answer would have been offering to misbehave in order to end up chained to me.”

“Sorry.”

Loki smiled.

Steve ate his lunch as Loki reclined against a set of pillows and the headboard. Afterwards, Steve cleared his throat and raised a hand.

The Asgardian gave him a perplexed look. “Is something wrong?”

“I’m not supposed to speak until spoken to.”

Loki smirked and patted Steve’s cheek. “You’re so very obedient, Captain.”

“I tend to follow instructions.”

“If you follow mine, I will endeavor to make it worth your while.”

“I’m sure you would.”

“Hm. What was it that you wanted to say?”

“I was hoping to get permission to kiss you.”

Loki smiled. “Permission granted.”

Steve kissed Loki’s lip and then ran his hands over the Asgardian’s sides under his shirt. He didn’t want to misbehave too much, but he didn’t want to give Loki the wrong idea. After some more kissing and groping, they curled up on the bed.

The camera in his “cell” was an obvious one, but Steve didn’t exactly mind it. For one thing, he didn’t care about votes enough to curb his behavior in order to gain more of them. For another, their show was going to be on Bravo or Lifetime and, according to Tony, very few people watched either.

For next few days, he spent drawing and relaxing while Loki checked on him, fed him, kissed him, and took him for the occasional walk.

He didn’t see much of Clint, but the archer didn’t seem as happy about being kept in a nice room as Steve was. Then again, Clint tended to be more restless and the time he got to spend with Coulson was being severely hampered by his fake incarceration. Or maybe it was the fact that Thor had a tendency to pick Clint up whenever he was being somewhat unruly and carry him to his destination, which was definitely one of the downsides to being mostly normal.

Eventually the prisoners were set free and all four of them were up for elimination.

Week six began with Clint high-fiving everyone when he was voted off. Week six also ended up being the last week for a number of reasons. For one thing, Fury was starting to run out of interest as well as patience.  With three of them left, he couldn’t see a reason to prolong everything.

Their task for that week was to perform random acts of kindness for the people of the city. Thor helped put out fires and Clint helped him knit blankets for dogs that were up for adoption. Steve aided old ladies in crossing the street, read to children in several hospitals, and helped a mother of five to change a flat tire. Loki taught several teens how to play chess and healed a bird’s broken wing.

In the Diary Room, they all had to talk about why they should win and be given the title of Top Avenger.

When it was Steve’s turn, he found he couldn’t think of any compelling reason outside of his charity so he explained how to donate to it. Then he talked about Thor and Loki instead of himself.

“They both should win. They both deserve to win and the reasons why are different, but they both have good hearts. Thor obviously cares and wants to win because he has a need to prove himself worthy. There was a time when he didn’t really try or see the point in making a difference instead of starting a fight. Since then, he’s made plenty of progress.

And Loki… Well, I think he just didn’t see the point in doing the right thing when no one was going to acknowledge what he’d done. So having some recognition would be good for him. I don’t know how much he cares about winning, but he deserves to.”

After that, he ended up rambling on about how stupid reality television was and why being a hero in real life was its own reward. Steve felt like slapping his forehead for being so corny and old, but he had meant what he said. He hoped it might get one or two people to stop watching so much TV and be of use to society.

It all came down to a vote again, and Steve was pretty surprised when he won by a pretty narrow margin. He split his reward money between the hospitals he’d visited and the shelter Thor had been working with.

Loki ended up being the runner-up and was given 50,000 dollars for a charity of his choice. He donated all of it to the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

And as worried as Steve was that Thor would be upset with both of them, he seemed pleased for his brother and grateful for Steve’s generosity.

“Winning,” Thor said, looking solemn, “is important and really wonderful, but it is not… It is not everything. I know that. Besides, there is always next year’s competition.”

Steve had thought about pointing out how unlikely it was that the show would ever happen again, but Loki cleared his throat and vehemently shook his head. So Steve smiled and nodded instead, patting Thor on the back for being such a good sport.

A week later, Thor would be offered his own show on Food Network and he’d forget all about _Top Avenger_ season 2.

-

Clint insisted they celebrate by subjecting the Asgardians and the Top Avenger to _Titanic_. Thor spent most of it crying.

“So, Top Avenger, do you have a moment to spare for your runner-up?” Loki asked when it was over.

Tony was busy singing along with Celine Dion while Bruce did his best not to laugh. Clint was arguing with Natasha about whether or not Rose could have made room for Jack on the driftwood she was clinging to. And Coulson was gently explaining to Thor that, at least, the love story wasn’t real.

“For you? I have multiple moments to spare. Would you like some?”

“I’d like all of them.” Loki took Steve’s arm in his and tugged him out of the room. “Let’s retire to my chamber, which looks quite nice now thanks to your hard work.”

“It was fun. You were surprisingly easy to work for, and you can guard my prison cell anytime.”

Loki laughed. He smiled when Steve kissed the back of his hand. “You’re ridiculously charming.”

“I’m glad you approve.”

“Do you suppose we’ll have to do something like that again?”

“The show? No. But I’ll be your servant if it’s for something mundane and harmless.”

Loki smirked as they neared the end of the hallway. “And if it’s not?”

Steve pressed the elevator button before shrugging. “I’ll probably ask some questions and make a decision.”

“That’s not exactly how being a thrall works, Steven.”

“It’s how I work.”

The doors chimed and Loki strolled into the elevator. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

On the ride up, Steve handed Loki a battered photograph he’d convinced Fury to locate for him in exchange for allowing the producers to use some of the footage of him making out with Loki while in “prison.”

Loki took the picture, examining it carefully. “Is this you?” Loki asked, brushing a finger over the image. “Yes, this must be you.”

“Before the experiments.”

“Do you show this to all of your partners?” Loki asked, handing it gently back.

“I haven’t had a lot of partners. Or a lot of dates. Just Peggy. And you.”

Loki considered Steve for what felt like several minutes. Then he tugged the super soldier into his arms in order to give him a hug. “Well then, I’m touched. Thank you.”

Steve kissed his cheek. “You’re welcome. So what’s the verdict?”

Loki moved back, eying the photo again. “I think you were adorable.”

“Handsome?”

“Sweet,” Loki said, punctuating his words with kisses. “Endearing.”

“And handsome?”

Loki laughed and tightened his grip on the photograph. “And handsome too, I suppose. As I’ve said that is the least important of all qualities you possess. What I like about this image… This man that you were is that I can believe you gave everything your all. That you never gave up on anything including yourself.”

“Before we do anything else, you should know. I’m not going to give up on you either.”

“You may come to regret that,” Loki mused, motioning Steve off of the elevator when they arrived on his floor. “Then again, you may not.”

“I have plenty of regrets. I doubt you’ll ever be one of them.”

Loki took a deep breath and looked away. “I have no desire to be. Truly.”

“I know.”

-

Steve had sort of been expecting that they’d get to Loki’s bedroom and the Asgardian would pounce on him. He’d been looking forward to it in a way, but once they were there, Loki seemed uncertain as to how to proceed.

Instead he kept rearranging things before reluctantly handing the photograph back to Steve.

“Now you’re the one thinking too much,” Steve observed, taking Loki’s hands in his. “But you were right at the museum. We should try thinking about the same things.”

“Very well.”

“What are you thinking about?”

“That I was unkind to you when we met, and I realize that’s putting it so very mildly... I also realize I wasn’t very nice to you many times after that. I dislike apologizing.”

“You don’t have to. I don’t need you to all things considered.”

“I ought to,” Loki mused. He exhaled sharply. With some effort he met Steve’s eyes, looking a bit coy but mostly worried. “I am sorry for the way I treated you and the remarks I’ve made in the past.”

“I don’t really hold onto grudges,” Steve pointed out, putting his arms around Loki. “I don’t think we’d be at this point if I did, but I get it. I do. I’m more than willing to consider what happened before to be water under a bridge that we’d both rather not revisit. So you’re forgiven, and if it ends up you do something else that isn’t exactly the right thing, I’ll forgive you then too. And if I mess up—”

“Spare me, Steven,” Loki said, pulling back. He seemed close to sneering, but after a second, he tempered his expression and rolled his eyes instead. “Captain America doesn’t mess up. Steve Rogers doesn’t mess up. You won’t—”

“And if I mess up,” Steve continued, “then you have to forgive me too. I’m no better than you. You’re no worse than me. That’s how relationships work.”

“How can you say that?”

“Because it’s true. Because I wouldn’t be much of a hero if I went around thinking I was better than everyone else.”

Loki sighed.

“Okay?”

“I hardly think I deserve you but… We have an accord.”

Steve figured that was as good as it was going to get for the time being. “Good. Thank you. Now aren’t you going to ask what I’m thinking about?”

Loki glanced at him. “What are you thinking about?”

“You with less clothes.”

Loki blinked then smiled. “Is that so?”

“I was hoping you could have similar thoughts. I guess I could help out,” Steve said, shucking off his t-shirt. “How’s this?”

“Very, very nice,” Loki mused. “I suppose I am expected to return the favor?”

“And I suppose it’s about damn time,” Steve muttered, coloring slightly as Loki ran his fingers over his bare chest. “It’s been six weeks… Actually a lot longer since…Um.”

“You poor thing,” Loki purred before unbuttoning the collared shirt he was wearing. “I’ll see what I can do.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, fangirlSevera and Jenavira for the awesome beta-ing. 
> 
> I am not very familiar with Big Brother so I definitely took a lot of liberties, which makes sense given the team involved in participating. Even so many of these tasks are based on various seasons from various countries. Or at least what Wikipedia told me about them.


End file.
